Optional questions to open your meeting

• Do you have someone you consider an ex? How long were you together and how long ago did you part ways?
• Would you help or not help your ex if he/she asked for support? ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ is a complete answer.
• Do you think that your ex would help you if you asked for support?

Questions to discuss Brave New Endings book

Questions about the book

1. 1. Which story did you find most challenging or difficult?
   2. Which story is most familiar to you? Is there one story to which you related?
   3. What are some of the ethical, moral or social implications of this book?
   4. What was the most useful or valuable advice or tip that you got from this book?
   5. Which Heart Healing steps did you try or would you like to try?

What was your response to this book?

1. 1. What did you think/feel about the book title, ‘Brave New Endings?’
   2. How would you describe the book in one sentence?
   3. Did reading this book change your perspective on anything?
   4. If you were willing to support an ex, which things would you be willing to do?
      1. Acts of service (ie. cooking, transportation)
      2. Financial support (ie. paying for medical supplies, treatments)
      3. Small Gifts (ie. book, journal, flowers, special take-out meals)
      4. Words of Encouragement (ie. cards or saying you were a good parent)
      5. Quality Time (ie. reading aloud to them, taking them for an outing)
   5. What are some of the ethical, moral or social implications of this book? How does it challenge or support your own values or beliefs?
   6. The last chapter deals with the survey and what people think they would do if their ex needed help. Did any of these statistics surprise you?
   7. Do you know someone else who has taken care of an ex?
   8. Have you helped an ex in some way? Or, would you?

Questions for your group about specific stories in Brave New Endings

Elizabeth and Bert

Have stepchildren played a role in your love relationships? Bert’s loyalty to his son ended his relationship with Elizabeth. Do you have your children or spouse as your priority?

Nyla and Daniel

Can you foresee a time when you would live with your ex and your current romantic partner? It took time, personal growth and COVID lockdowns to create the circumstances for it to be the right choice for Nyla, Daniel and Nat.

George and Xara

Did you leave your romantic relationship because of irreconcilable differences? Do you know a couple like George and Xara? After they had had their children, each of them discovered that they were attracted to the same sex.

Eloise and Stanley

Eloise felt that she stayed in her marriage because of her religion and because she was helping women escape ‘worse’ relationships than hers. She had no idea what was really happening in her own marriage. Did you miss things that were happening in your past relationship?

Eileen and Steven

Steven had threatened her life, but Eileen was able to find the compassion she needed to bring him into the family home to die. These challenging circumstances paid off for their blended family and set the scene for the family to grieve together. Do your family members grieve losses together or separately?

Resources – Books

The Grief Recovery Handbook
The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce and Other Losses
By John W. James and Russel Friedman

Falling Apart
Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours
Daphne Rose Kingma

With the End in Mind
Dying, Death and Wisdom in an age of Denial
Kathryn Mannix

The Grieving Brain
The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
Mary-Frances O’Connor

The Grieving Body
How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing
Mary-Frances O’Connor

Top Five Regrets of the Dying
A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
Bronnie Ware